why cant we face it?

i've been pretty pessimistic.

sunday's outing is gone, i guess. no rainbows to talk about then.

well monday, oh man. i don't know.

my thighs hurt BIG TIME. due to yesterday's training. and guess what? fitness training is repeating all over again. oh man, the runs, the sprints, the.. woah.

but nonetheless, i can just take the chance to lose weight. HAHA. such a sucker, lynette.

i pretty badly want to leave the house with a couple of familiar people, just to chill, lepak and talk under the sun or moon. i love those types (: shopping sounds good too. but NOT without money. i guess i'm taking up a job soon. oh well.

been emo-ing. thinking about lots of stuffs. like gigabuffazilliona of stuffs. on almost everything. i seriously don't know what's wrong. though it's been said that this few years (and past) would probably be our emo phase. but emo is liddat one meh?

oh i just knew some stuffs from my classmates & wife.

• people cut their skin away, put small metal balls on the raw flesh and than sew their detached skin back.
• people cut criss-cross on their forearm and than pour hot water so the skin will come out.
• people cut their forearms until no space than go cut their thighs. (speaking of which, my thighs really hurt right now):
• they are PEOPLE.

woah, new trends. that's why people are classified into 2 groups, leaders and followers. it's either you lead, start a new trend, or you follow the present trend.

LEG PAIN AH WAH! .

think it the lit way, the love way

i went to the airport today(: with karhuai and zickos.

apparently, they were talking about and to their rainbows! walao. I WANT TO CALL MY RAINBOW ALSO. ): they are so mean la.

rainbow, oh, rainbow. but my rainbow's special. that is, he doesn't know that he's my rainbow! HAH! i don't know should i be happy or not but i know i'm not happy.

rainbow oh rainbow,
where art thou?

HAHA , too much lit.

little green man almost came today! no, infact, he came. i went to confront him for awhile. we sat down and sorted things out. i felt that i shouldnt have let him come, but if he didn't it appears that i didn't care. but i wanted to let him know that i care! that i'm actually bothered.

little green man actually wanted me to tell my rainbow everything. SIAO. of course i didnt. i wished i did, so i can know what's on his mind. but i don't have the guts, maybe that's why, i'm suffering.. so, i will pay the consequence - suffer in silence (gosh, it rhymes)

little green man = crazy, siao.

but i shut him out later on. i shouldnt allow him to affect anything right now. i'm accepting the way we're heading. because, it's a freaking one-sided. (: S-I-M-P-L-E. so i have to accept whatever comes, i'm in no position to argue, reject or even comment. the only option is ACCEPT.

although it's been sometime. allow me to just admire this rainbow from far for as long as it last. because, i know, it's not forever. it ain't mine.

zicko has sooo many pol ok. and he loves to talk about his pol(s). hahaa. oh and i realise i'm not like before. i used to be able to withstand tickles from people. kaysiao, now i squirmed and wriggle away when i get tickled by karhuai. but it's okay. i target back. he's also afraid! :D ahhh. hahahaha!

i kept knocking into things today. head, back, elbows. karhuai was laughing. sucker. (: he called me emo. and i'm NOT. sirhan was as usual, flirting with karhuai. oh well.

yay. escape theme park on sunny (; it's been so long since i went to escape. lol.

when a girl looks at you with eyes full of question, she's wondering
how long will you be around with her. because.. because..

my rainbow (:

you just don't understand. so stop claiming that you understand.

and LEAVE ME ALONE.

(:

I FEEL SO FULL (: love it when mom cooks (:

before anything,


----xxxx----


DEAR SH,



AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE YOU AND GTKH ON WEDNESDAY AT THE AIRPORT. HOPE THAT YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION WOULD RECOVER FAST SO WE 3, SH, GTKH, ME CAN MSN EACH OTHER ONCE AGAIN.



OUH. AND GUESS WHAT!? I LOVE YOU BOTH K. WE SHALL GO EMO-ING SOMEDAY AGAIN.



HAHA, TILL THEN.



YOURS TRULY, REALLY TRULY,



LLAL.


--XX--



i went back school today! oh man, i miss mr chan, mdm rubiah, ms wong, chuah teacher, ms ng mc etc. RAHHHHH.



the antibiotics i'm eating causes my sole to peel. it freaking hurts.

TILL THEN PIPOS (:

sch? yuck

School's gonna start in 9h 10min time. It's the end of my sleazy holidays(except camps) and the start of hell (due to class and teachers). blah & blah.

Kind ofreluctant to go to school tomorrow. Mid years and whatever shit lah. I'm a little tired of all these, but i'm hanging on.

Cos it's not as if there's someone in school that i longed to see anyway. *there's NONE* in terms of guys that is. oh of course, asli would have a list of names though. HAHA. shit.

i think i wanna be a loner in school. *smiles widely* but i somehow know it's impossible. HAHA. cos i'll just end up crapping to someTHING. but if i really don't talk at all, than something's wrong, really wrong. but i usually shut up for certain reasons lor!

it's because i don't like you. HAHA. i feel like declaring war on you, but i shall uphold WORLD PEACE! ):<

i usually can't get along with some girls (as in my entire life). and the majority comes from girl's school. why huh? and i thought i was the only one that had the problem (:

hmm

i should say, the hols have indeed been a fruitful and fun one! though not that much academically, but in other ways, it is! and it'll be (:

oh yah, i realised i'm still in love with this skin. so this and it shall be. but it reminds me of the 2 rambutans. sirhan & george. cos both of them showed me rainbowrific messages from other people. LOL.

i wished i had a super brain.

• infinite memory
• always absorbing
• optimum download speed
• not always wandering around (hmmm)
• 10001% concentration
• oh and no lagginess

woah! almost perfect! where's the shooting star? i need to make a wish!! (;

actually, i have a lot of wishes, or rather, hopes, so i need a meteor shower! skali bomb. thanks ar.

:D OKAY, NOW ITS TIME TO ECONS.

i couldn't sleep last night. till like 5am, i managed to doze off.

but lucky me, i had perfect 10, 98.7fm with me. :D Utt was on the air, right? or was it shan wee? Soyah said it was shan wee though. haha. but i heard Utt!

eh, i'm like calling their names as if i know them very well liddat. oh, anycase. I never knew a radio would be that entertaining. Certain songs reminded me of some people. LOL.

• Irreplacable, reminds me of Ms G. *to the left, to the left*
• Last Night, reminded me of, weirdly, Iman. HAHA. cos i heard that song while tagging. oh oh! and atique too.

and many other what-nots that i couldnt remember. blah blah &blah.

Plus plus, the dedications & smses all, oh-so-sweet.

lalala, i feel lovey.

OUH! now got ghost story! go see go see! (:

boo, bye.

study

i know there's like loads of stuffs to study. but i don't know what to study.

you know, i'm very much in a that-kind of mood. HAH. what's new. like a little bo chap. but tmr's goona be better. im going out to study! (: i hope. if not, i'll just slit my wrists and die.

i do hope i see that bright light at the end of the tunnel. i really do. with that, i guess i'm not only going to do what the SAINTS always do, which is pray (according to zicko), im gonna chiong and pray. let's play it the singaporean way. kiasu. and kiasee. although the chionging part is also like for longkang schools. you know which i'm referring too. hur hur.

-ahem-

enough about books! i had them since baby. if i had a choice, i would love to re-read all my fairytale books in my cupboard. that is only if i had the time... actually i do, but i have no idea what i spent it on. hmm.

okay okay okay! i've been really sick these few days. coughing and fevering until i felt i might as well just die. and i've been living much of a solo lifestyle, except my mom & dad, i thought of getting a pet.

i thought of dogs.

but i'm sure my mom would object, she might just sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and..... oh. and where am i suppose to leave it if we were to go on a holiday? i don't really trust my neighbours. who knows, after the holidays, they might just pay me a sum of money, telling me that "oh, your dog's really good. no worries about that. however it accidentally jumped out of the window and.."

i would kick their pikus. i will.

hamsters? my mom says that they stink. my dad too. and i somehow agree. HAHA.

after making a whole list, considering everything from budget to personal convinience, i think, the best choice will be...

SEAMONKEYS! (:

although i can't really name them because they all look the same. i can't hug them cos they are soo puny. i can't really complain my stuffs to them cos they seem as if they dont really bother as they are always moving around. eh wait, like that...

actually, they don't make much of a existence either. cos if i can't really do the above with them, i might as well don't get any thing, right? i might as well just talk to myself, hug myself and give myself bimbotic names like soh bee chee.

ok. enough.

you know, i used to had seamonkeys! my mama bought it for me. but it look like a bottle of water all the time. ok la. i saw abit of worms moving around. but it wasnt like what the tv showed! got hands and face everything! it looked a little like mosquitoe's larvae. just that the colour is more fleshier. HAHA. but it was fun keeping them. it died like few days later. although my friend's lasted like a week plus. LOL.

i really don't know why i typed all these crap.

i wished i had a twin.

wake up, little sister.

im kid! (:

im the OLD KID. (:

MOMMY, MEI MEI IS TALLER THAN ME!!!!!

i wish i knew what's on your mind right now (:

I opened the signed in page for blogger and stoned for a couple of minutes, literally, before entering my email address and password.

huh. what's wrong with me, again. i know, it's being emphasised AGAIN.

Some people have the ability to make you hate them this minute and love them the next. This gets pretty annoying because i get very well confused about my feelings. The moment when they made you hate them, you start to generate all the shitty feeling(s) you have for them. And when they start being nice, you don't know whether to continue generate the shitty feelings or wipe them out and start generating lovey feelings or whatever options there are for me to choose.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND.

My throat hurts real bad. To the extent of feeling pain when i swallow my own saliva. It's sickening x 10^y And i've been coughing for the past 2 nights, which results my mom entering my room non-stop.

i'm feeling random. & hungry. because i haven't been eating much. which is bad. HAH. because whatever i want to eat, my mom doesn't allow. for my sake that is.

eh! im drowsy again.

im glad we met.

im officially sick.

actually no. i've been sick even before the camp started. but i didnt tell my mom cos if i did, i would have been stopped from going to the camp.

during the camp, it worsened. i had fever and it hurt so much that i cried. some idiot called me 'emo-shit' when i went to the water point to collect water. WELCOME TO HOLLAND LAH. on the last day of the camp, i was literally shivering in a 25 degree celcius room. HAH.

but still, when i went back home, i didnt tell my parents. because i knew if i told them, i couldnt have went out with george and sirhan. and jannie, soyah, junhong, pseng & bird.

i guess it was the last straw. i coughed like a monkey last night till i woke my mum up and she threatened me to see the doctor today as it might be tonsilitis. *faints.

i actually had loads to blog about. but not now anymore. ):
i was glad when i saw you the other day. and i also thought i could believe in it again. but it just made me more confused.
im feeling drowsy and im not sure if its the medication or something else.

it seems that when everytime we meet, you never fail to hurt me.

IM BACK! :D MISS ME?! I BET TRT MISSES ME! ASLI TAN LIHWEI! I KNEW IT!

nonetheless, i miss alot of people. really.

i had only 10 hours of sleep during the 4 day camp and i was s1 (admin) for the whole 4 days. tt really tested my mentality and everything. but on the last day, my body gave way and i fell real sick. brendan & anthony all fell sick. but the people there were so caring until i felt super guilty. oh well. some of them were so nice, like brandon, who saw me literally shivering, covered me with a sweater when i was asleep. i didnt know the world was filled with nice people. haha

not to mention, sgt ryan helped alot too. and sir ian. in order to wake me up on the last day, cos i was damn sick till i slept over but they didnt mind cos we were s1. they whacked us (me & syima) with pillows which i suspect contained kutus. scare me. but they were super helpful and everything. im glad there are such people that got me going through that 4 days. thank you.

oh and how can i forget about ah wei. haha. all e best for your bball match. (= every s1 that was present during the spec 2 n 3. they really helped alot. ah hui, ah mao also. thank god ah mao didnt collapse on the other nights. scary part.

you know ah mao fell asleep while doing admin stuffs and he was breathing damn heavily. and when me and ah wei decided to end the day, he started moaning in pain. suddenly he stood up and walked around with his hands on his head saying he's afraid and he's in pain in chinese. then he collapsed and couldnt remember anything else. wth right.

oh yes, i think i laughed pretty much throughout the 4 days too. nights with renhui, maosheng, james, anisah, irsyad, raihan,khyrul rocked. and with xiaowei too.

today was as good! (= i went out with george and sirhan. the 2 rambutans which i've missed pretty much. haha! we went to VS first to 'fetch' george and then headed to parkway then to ecp. VS gives off and aura that it's a boys school pretty strongly. very strongly infact. but after awhile, it wasn't that bad. :D

we went emoing at east coast park. but we were laughing at sirhan when he was playing the guitar. it was damn sweet okay =D

it's never that easy to forget.

I THINK I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM.

HAHA.

mabel's idea.

1)put ur music player on shuffle
2)press forward for each question
3)use the song title as the answer for ur qsn, even if it doesnt make sense
4)tag 5 other people
5)bold the questions and the the answers and give ur own comments

how are you feeling today? The Sweet Escape
SWEET (:

how do your friends see u? Ai Cuo (Wrong Love)
what!? no link! that i always love the wrong person? huh!?

will you get married? Breaking Free
sounds promising, (;

what is your best friend's theme song? I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie
so wrong! hahah.

what is the story of ur life? Only Love
only love can say..

what was primary school like? Johnny
i knew a boy named johnny..

how can you get ahead in life? I'm All About You
with you! :D

what is the best thing about your friends? Do You Remember
that they remember everything.

what is in stall for this weekend? Wait For You
someone will be waiting.... i wonder

what song describes you? I Think Of You
WRONG! hahaha. so flower eat la.

describe your grandparents? Sad Tango
they dance tango! um.. hip and hop!

How is your life going? Buttons
GREAT! xD and damn hot.

how does the world see you? Hero
superwoman saves the world, again...

will you have a happy life? Zai Yi Ci Yong You (Once Again)
ehhhh. if you allow. that is.

what does your friend really think of you? I Promise you
they promise that they'll think of me. sweet

do people secretly lust after you? Like I Love You
I GUESS SO! HAHA!

how can i make myself happy? Teenagers
being a teenager!

what should you do with your life? Tu Amor
love YOU!

will you ever have children? It's Tricky
it's a trick question, i'll go back and analyse it k.

5 PEOPLE TO DO THIS :

-ASLI
-AH HUI
-SIRHAN
-SYLVIA
- IDUNNO

they are ever ready

im coughing non stop. oh, and sneezing too. i wonder how am i gonna survive during the camp for 4 days. 2 days of s1 OIC, 2 days of APC.

but i can't wait for friday!

friday friday friday! =D

you're the every-girl's guy.

a case where many girls chooses you, but you get to choose them. how lucky.

and then, it'll result in a case of heart breaks and everything.

the mending of hearts, the breaking of such. although the latter is the common one. but you're the one in control. so, you have the power, the ability to make things change.

oh whatever.

-x-

zicko is in BLACKS RFC!

go zicko! go SA! (=

go! this sa boy haha! if got any comp, i'll go okay! and i'll get the other 2 belos, george and tikos to come along.

OH YES. I'LL MAKE BANNER(s)!

infact, i'll start planning one now! =D

so exciting lah.

lynette sucks.

something better.

i guess i should do a proper post. afterall, it's a damn blog.

there are many wants and hopes in my mind right now, but the needs are so important that i really have to get down to them fast and good.

i hope it'll do me good next time.

talking about holidays. when it's just busy and hectic like nobody's business. oh yeah. i've been pretty unproductive this whole week. oh gosh. i'm so gonna kan chiong spider tmr.

let's say: econs tomorrow? or math?

i think econs. been procrastinating alot recently. so, i feel that i should really get my ass stick onto this chair and bury my head in the books & notes. been feeling rather restless. like i wanna go out and do some stuffs.

talking about 'do some stuffs'. study is something. packing my room is also another something. packing my bag is also another something. dear dear me. there are so many things to do right infront of me but yet, im like searching for things to do. and the horrifying part is that i'll probably end up doing stuffs that's not really that important, like swimming or even eating. HAHA. like wth right.

my mom just popped her head into my room and asked me "what's the time now". and i replied, "12". and she stared really hard.

okay, i'll sleep now.

bahhh.

test

Create your own Friend Test here TRY IT MAN! HAHAHA. THE RESULT OF TOO MUCH DEMAND AND SUPPLY =D

the uncle almost drove us to johor

im finally back from spec course! HAHA. it was great to be there. although i refuse to learn some stuffs, but it was still nonethless fun. it felt good to see the younger ones at that course. they might be younger, but they're as tall as me. some even taller. *rolls eyes*

my platoon was a bunch of crazy kiddos. AHAHA. hadi was even more crazy. he asked this cadet right in the face, "you like your ma'am iszit?!" i almost wanted to faint, kill myself and shave my head botak. how blunt can guys get huh? and this cadet was scared out of his wits. just because he kept staring and smiling doesn't mean what right!? and hadi said somethign stupid too. i wanted to die i tell you.

i love the first night! shiyuan, sadiq, rann, me went to do sentry. but all of us ended sitting at the canteen and crapping through the night. rann and i kept disturbing him with eh hem you-know-who. and he in turn created some nonsense about me and rann with this 2 other guys. but it was freaking fun. rann and i ended up putting ice into one another's shirt. rann oh rann.

and there were times when people mistook me for ah wei aka xiao wei. they asked me where was my purple hair and i gave a blur look.

sgt anthony is really funny. he ate my chocolate and bought me 4 packets back. oh well. i got bullied in the course on the first day. so irritating. and i belived them.

there got alot of mosquitoes. to the extent of having the cadets to use the mosquito net provided. tsk. and now, while typing, im scratchin my hands.